His name is Luke...

We thought we would wait until we met our baby boy to officially name him. We talked about it being fun to be able to look him in the eyes and say with certainty upon meeting him, "This is our son, his name is ______." For a while our front runner name has been Lucas Reid. Over the past 7 months Trav and I have often thrown out other names and asked the other person if they like it. Quickly followed by the question, "Do you like it more than Luke?" Not once have we found anything we like as much as Lucas/Luke.

A week and a half ago, at 27 weeks of pregnancy I was placed on modified bed rest by my doctor. The Wednesday before I went in for my monthly check up and he was a little concerned about the contractions I was having. He took a few tests, examined me and sent me home on some medicine that was to stop the contractions. Thursday morning he called me at work and let me know that the fFN swab test he took on Wednesday had came back positive. On Friday due to contractions not getting better and I was starting to "leak" (test confirmed this was not amniotic fluid), he placed me on bed rest.

In the past 11 days, my mind has been battling ....fear of losing the baby, living at the hospital if he does come soon, feeling guilty for not being able to take care of Logan or Trav, insecurities for having to ask for help, my pride, my guilt, my selfishness, my control. Its amazing how quickly God can get ahold of your heart when you are forced to be still and not do anything. A powerful verse that God is teaching me about is Psalm 46:10: Be still, and know that I am God. Not only am I having to be still physically to ensure the health of this baby, but also of my thoughts. As the fears, insecurities, worry and guilt all race through my mind, He is teaching me to be still, and trust that He is in control and He is God.

Almost 5 months ago one of our very best friends handed their 4 1/2 month old son over to spend eternity with Jesus. At that time I was 9 weeks pregnant. Due to the trauma of the day and events I thought for sure I had lost our baby too. Ever since that day, June 24, my eyes have been open to the realization that life is fragile and such a miracle. Every time I hear his heartbeat at a doctors appointment or feel him kick I am shocked. For whatever reason, part of me almost expects to never meet this little boy. That fear has kept me from attaching to this pregnancy in a small way... until this week. That could be part of the reason I never wanted to "name" him.

Today it is with great joy I would like to introduce someone to you. He is not here yet, but he is my son. His name is Luke.